爱与被爱

爱与被爱，你会选哪一个?
如果被爱，要好好珍惜对方，这份情来得不容易。
如果要爱，得先好好爱自己，只有学会爱自己，才能够去爱别人。
爱与被爱，两个都不简单。
爱看似简单，其实很困难。
不管是哪一种爱，都要牢牢抓着。
因为一旦这份情变淡了，再怎么挽留也是徒劳无功。
只要爱了，就要付出全部，否则一切都会化为乌有。

One more paper to go

YES. MATH IS OVER.

Cannot wait for math to be over. And one more paper left-Othello.

So looking forward to post promos, watching dramas, movies and good food.

But then, I have to promote as well.

Must promote.

Exam stress or mood swing?

Yes this is the Promos period. For all those out there who are in this period as well, good luck.

My mood has been pretty bad these few days, negative feelings about promos, bad mood, insecurities, all gushing out. What even. 4 days of break straight before Econs and Lit on wed, which means we got to make full use of our time to prepare for these 2 crazy H2 subjects plus history. But hey, Saturday was unproductive. I just finished up on Econs lecture book, went through some past papers and stuff and that's it. That was all I did. I must be crazy.

Today is slightly better. I did lots and lots of lit and finally highlighted my exam text. Yeah finally. Then followed by Econs... Econs essays are giving me a headache...

Haven't done my 2012 math promo paper yet because I feel that I have to finish Econs and lit first before I can concentrate on math, which leads to why I don't want to go for tomorrow's not compulsory math lesson. And I feel that I will feel even worse if I go for the math lesson.

Then there comes my insecurities. Don't ask me why I feel insecure. I really don't know. I keep feeling that all my friends actually don't like me as much as I think so. They may actually find me annoying, irritating and I don't know what even though they don't express it. What if one day, they will all eventually leave me? What if no one is willing to listen to me? What if one day, I will be all alone? I am actually pretty sensitive to what people do, just that I don't show it. Sometimes, a trivial matter can actually cause me to go really far-fetched. But, I will never show this side of me to people because they will probably find me weird and annoying.

Exam stress or mood swing? I don't know. I got to stop thinking about such weird stuff and just spend all my time studying. And please, I hope the promos period will be over quickly so that I will stop feeling stress. Of course, I gotta promote.

Random thoughts

Okay I don't know if this is exam stress or what but I'm in a bad mood suddenly. Suddenly, I worry about not being able to promote, not doing well, having no one to talk to, having very few true friends and all kinds of random things. LOL What is this man? I think I am just being weird. This must be exam stress.

Exactly 7 days to Promos and I am not done with everything yet. this is too overwhelming for me. Cannot take this. It is way too scary to think about not doing well promos. I can't imagine it. Totally 恐怖. Even though I am working hard for Promos but still...

I think this exam stress is causing me to go crazy lol. Why am I thinking about weird stuff haha. Okay I got to be positive again. No matter what I have to be positive. And I realised something about myself. I don't mind people telling me their problems but I don't ever tell others my problem or my deep deep feelings. It is alright when people confide in me and if I can, I will give them my advice or personal opinions. But hey, I never ever tell my problems or feelings to people. Probably because, I don't know who to tell. I mean, what if they think I am bothering them and stuff like that. Like... Umm... Maybe they will think that I'm annoying, or I'm weird... Or maybe I feel that we are close enough to tell these things but he or she doesn't think so? There are a thousand reasons for me not to confide in others.

Now you see? I'm actually very weird.

Alright exam stress you gotta go away. You are really annoying.

Teacher's Day 2015

Happy Teacher's Day to all teachers!

Yesterday Teacher's Day was quite a crazy day woohoo! We started off the day with GP time trial. How interesting~ Seriously, how many JCs will start their Teacher's Day celebration like this? The paper was kinda difficult. Haha. Then the Teacher's Day concert. Somehow, I was quite nervous for our Drama performance. I was so scared that I would forget my lines. Luckily, I didn't and overall, it was quite a satisfying performance considering the little amount of time we had to rehearse for this. But because of our performance, I could not sneak out of school to go back to XMS haha. I was so anxious that I could not go back to XMS in time and unable to see the teachers and my dear frans. I received a call from QT and he told me that he was already in XMS. So immediately after the SR Teacher's Day concert ended, Carrot, JK, XC and I ran out of school and took the bus back to XMS. I was already at XM Primary when MJ and JY were still in SR LOL.

While walking to XMS, I saw Debs at the opposite side and she pointed her middle finger at me for being so slow. Oh well, this is what she will do haha. Saw PQ the moment I stepped into XMS wew. Then there was QT, the guy who took me by surprise. I was so excited to see him because I have not seen him for many months already since I didn't see him during Home coming Day. So excited that I ran forward to hug him and he hugged me back. Yayyy. I asked him what made him come back since he told me he might not be coming back a few days ago. He said it was because I told him to come back. Awwww so sweet of him. I melted. Definition of true fran. <3

I continued to run around and saw many people such as Xuan, YJ, CW, Eve and many many more. I didn't go to Su immediately and that made me feel a bit bad. But that was because I saw her nearly every week while there were so many others whom I didn't see for a long time, for example Eve. So so happy to see her I can't even,

Finally the teachers! The teachers were all having lunch in the hall. We called Phan lao shi and I could see that she was so glad to see us HAHA. We are forever her 最棒的高华学生 HAHA. I actually miss her Chinese lessons I can't believe it. Then there was Mr Lee. Cw and his dramatic reunion LOL. Mr Lee is a math teacher who we will never forget. He did so many weird things that it is impossible to forget. The English department was the best. All the English teachers were dressed in polka dots to match the 70s or 80s fashion. SO CUTE. Had a short little chat with Mrs Chan and took photos with her and Ms Beh. All of them were such wonderful teachers. Much love.

Ran around here and there and took photos with all my frans. They are the amazing bunch of people who made my secondary school journey such a wonderful and unforgettable one. I can't imagine going through four years without them. Thanks for giving me so much love, always staying by my side even after graduating from XMS. I love you guys so much!~! And also, thank you teachers for your guidance and support. You all gave us so much support and help especially during the O levels period. Your dedication and patience never fail to make us feel safe and confident that we can do well at O levels. Thank you everyone in XMS. So much LOVE oh my.

Night Fest 2015

Say yay to Night Fest 2015! My first time going to and I must say it was awesome! Went with Su and both of us were so excited HAHA.

So, we met at Bras Basar and began our adventure by buying food at the stalls. For me, it was starbucks because I hadn't had one for two weeks already LOL. We toured around that area, went from stall to stall before we headed to Dhoby Ghaut. We walked all the way from Bras Basar to Fort Canning Park, to Plaza Sing then finally to The Cathay. Supposedly there was the Hanami Purple flowers in front of SOTA but we reached there quite early so the flowers were not lighted yet. We then walked to SMU, which means back to Bras Basar HAHA.

To the National Museum! For some reasons, Su was so amazed at the light birds on the trees. She took a dozen photos of the birds before going in. How cute. There wasn't much in the National Museum... The only thing we queued for was the tennis ball swing. Sat on the swing and took couple of pictures, blending in with the rest of the kids.

Peranakan Museum! On our way there, the crowd was no joke. There were road blocks at the streets which also means there were interesting museums. We happened to visit this exhibition along the way (it was the substation I think) and it was about the artist cutting down trees and woods. The Peranakan Museum was amazing wew. At the first floor, there was Illuminate which was SUPER COOL! Our shirts glowed the moment we stepped in and the outfits on display were glowing.pranced around and took photos of the outfits. Up to the second floor, we walked around to see the exhibitions and know a little more about the Peranakan culture. On the third floor, we saw these two hunks, or rather, models from Make Up Forever, Sadly, we couldn't take photos with them because they were leaving already. Oh no.

We managed to reach the National Museum at around 730, just in time to catch The Garden of Angels! Definitely my favourite performance that night! Oh my it was so beautiful I cannot even. It was just spectacular.

Lastly, the Singapore Arts Museum, my favourite Museum out of the three we visited that night. Su was so creeped out by the wax figures (is it wax?) on the second floor, especially the one at the extreme end. HAHA. There were so many amazing works I love them all. It was really funny to see Su's reactions when she realised that I interpreted the meanings of the art works correctly. I cannot even. But hey, I really really like the works in the SAM.

Yeap, so this was our adventure at the Night Festival. Had a sweet date with Su wew wew! Will definitely go back there next year and of course, museum hopping with Su after Promos!~!

22 Days to Promos

Yes, 22 days to promos. Not funny at all. I wonder how much I can achieve in 22 days.

Everyday, I come home feeling so tired as though I have not slept for days. Can't even bear to pick up my pen. This is why I choose to do work in school. I try to finish all my homework and read through my lecture notes in school so that I can come home without feeling guilty for not doing any work, Of course, I know this is not enough. There are many people around who are doing 100 times more work than me. But hey, I really find it difficult to do as much as others.I mean, I am already trying to do as much as I can for promos...

I really don't understand how people can do a few math paper a day when I am already drained after doing one tutorial. Much wow. I guess math is really not my cup of tea. Trying to push myself harder each day so that I can achieve more everyday. Why do I feel like this is one of the toughest and most stressful examination thus far? Promos is really no joke. For someone like me who doesn't get stressed up easily to feel stress, wow this no easy feat.

Really need to do well for promos so that I don't RETAIN. Can't imagine what will happen if I don't meet the promotion criteria. Bangs wall. Finding motivation for myself to work hard, to persevere, not to give up and have the tenacity. Need to push myself and just, hold in there! Yes I will find the motivation. Jiayou 太阳小妹！

电脑带来的缘分 (2)

都两个小时，他还是那么的认真，似乎没有想要停下来休息一下。认真的男生最帅，这种坚持令人着迷。

“我用好了，电脑还你。谢谢。”

把电脑放好后，他又捧着书，继续读。

接下来几个星期，我都在同一天，同个时间回到那间咖啡厅。而到了下午，那个男生也会到咖啡厅，点一杯咖啡，就开始读书。他真的好用功哦。看到他，自己真的感到有点惭愧。说真的，老是看见他，还蛮想和他做朋友。多交个朋友，也没什么不好的。不过，该怎么开口呢？无缘无故，上前和他说话，会不会有点尴尬？坐在那里，想了很久，还是不知道该怎么开口。不如算了吧，要是有缘，一定能成为朋友。

观察了他许久，发现他还蛮喜欢蓝色的。他的电脑袋，铅笔盒和背包都是蓝色的，而且都是天空那种蓝色。还有，他每次都点一样的咖啡，蛋糕也是。没有什么特别的，但我还是对他很感兴趣。

时间不早了，收拾东西回家去。踏出咖啡厅后，那位男生上前问道：

“你经常来这里对吧。要不要做个朋友？”

哇，他竟然主动要和我做朋友。我不是在做梦吧？

“好啊，我叫永晴。你呢？”

“你的名字和我的蛮像的。我叫永恒。很高兴认识你！”

好酷哦，连名字都相似。这是不是所谓的缘分？永恒，这个名字好听，有意思。

从那天起，在咖啡厅，我们都坐在一起，一起做功课。有人陪的感觉，也挺不错的。原来永恒大我一岁。他现在那么拼，是在为年尾的考试做准备。帅呆了。

慢慢的，我们有越来越多话说，说个不停，有说有笑。和他的交谈中，我发现永恒他其实很有理想。年纪轻轻的，他已经有了明确的人生目标，正在为目标努力奋斗。不只有理想，还有礼貌，绝对是个大好人。

我是不是被他迷住了？怎么永恒他越看越帅？

电脑带来的缘分 (1)

一个人坐在咖啡厅。看着窗外人来人往，想着那些人的背景，心思。。。。。。有多少人正在面对和自己一样的问题？有多少人和自己在同一个处境？想着想着，时间也慢慢过去。和一口咖啡，虽然咖啡苦苦的，但却有让人开心起来的作用。好奇怪哦。把电脑打开，原本是该上网查资料的，却变成在网上看部落格和影片。就是那么容易分心。。。。。。

一位男生走进咖啡厅，点了一杯咖啡和巧克力蛋糕，就马上把一大叠的作业拿出来，开始认真做。看看他，再看看自己，好惭愧哦。好吧，我也要认真起来。于是，我把部落格关了，终于开始找资料。是有点无聊，不过功课还是得交。其实这已经算好了。至少我是在查和文学有关的资料，而不是在做数学习题，那才真的要命。

才刚刚认真起来，不到半小时，电脑竟然没电！翻一翻书包，才发现网络带充电器。真的是要疯了！爬山涉水才来到咖啡厅，电脑竟然不能用了。真的是无语。左看看，右看看，看到那位男生有一台电脑。要不要跟他借？可是我和他又不认识。他会不会觉得我是个怪人？但我又不想空手而归，怎么办呢？好吧，硬着头皮和他借好了。希望他行行好，电脑借给我用一用。

“嗨！我的电脑没电了。你的能不能借我用一用？“ 好丢脸哦。

”Errr 好吧，你拿去“，他看起来有点疑惑。

”谢谢！“ 哇哈，他的人好好啊！

抱着电脑回到座位去，重新开始查资料。这次，是真的认真。

两个钟头过去了，终于大功告成！松了一口气。把功课做完的感觉真爽。把资料存起来后，准备把电脑还给那位男生。

Just another school day

Felt so much better today after 7.5 hours of sleep yesterday night. I feel like I can fly AHAHAHAHA, Sleep is really important. When you get enough sleep, even your mood gets better. So everyone, go and sleep now. LOL.

Today is just another ordinary day... Nothing much, just going for lectures and tutorials. Oh! Today's cca session becomes a study session where everyone will simply do their own revision. As for Lit students like us, study session becomes a Lit consultation because our cca teacher is also our Lit teacher huehue. Literature is such a worrying subject for us oh my. How do you link I&S themes to your paragraphs?! This is a mystery to me...

Jazelle's Birthday Celebration

11 August It's Jazelle's birthday!!! Operation Jazelle is a success! We managed to give her a suprise with Jolyn's appearance, the ballon and the cake but I can't believe that she already knew about the cards during morning assembly huehue. But hey, at least she had fun. OH! And the Bambi balloon is really cute?! I felt like I was walking a deer as I ran about with the balloon hohoho~ Love Jazelle more than Rilakuma <3

Did not sleep well yesterday and oh my, I was so tired today. I couldn't absorb anything during Literature lecture, practically floating around during that 50 minutes. And then there was PE... I could even fall asleep while watching a touch rug video?! Much wow. Anyways, gotta sleep early today so that I can pay attention in class tomorrow. Promos is coming up in 5 weeks I cant't afford to sleep in class anymore oh no.

5 weeks to promos like what?!?! Honestly, how many people are prepared for promos already? Definitely not me. I still have a long way to go hohoho. I don't know how much I can achieve in 5 weeks but hey, I will give my best and make sure I will be promoted to J2. I wanna do Lit Night together with my rigourpies and much more nonsense with them :D

Shall end this post here! Gonna finish some stuff, bathe and go to sleep.

只要肯努力，什么事都有可能发生。但是一旦放弃，那就什么都别指望了。
不管多辛苦，都有继续往前走，绝对不要停下来。
说不定会有奇迹发生。

Back to blogspot!

I wanted to use Dayre on my laptop as well but hey, I realised you can post on Dayre from your phone. And so, I have no choice but to use blogspot. Better than nothing right?

I realised I need a space to just write things out, to write poops, fool around and just bring myself to LaLa Land. And even though I can officially say goodbye to Chinese now, I still prefer to write and speak Chinese. So subsequently, I will be typing in Chinese I guess. The beauty of Chinese characters hohoho.

Moving on. Much yay to this laptop! *Inserts a thousand heats* Finally I have my own computer, where I can save all the things I want and do anything. Most importantly, IT IS PORTABLE. I can type on my bed much yay.

I wonder how much and how long I will stick to typing in this space. Most of the time, I will get too lazy huehue. Let's hope that I will persevere and continue writing. YES I WILL.